1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
