they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
