I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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