Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
