Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
