like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
