We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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