I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
