dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
