I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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