uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
