its not stalking. its research.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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