She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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