i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize