Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
