Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
