i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
