What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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