i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
