How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
