PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
