Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
