And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
