Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
