I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
