Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
