I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize