And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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