Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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