I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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