And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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