just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
