OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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