He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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