is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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