oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
