Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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