i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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