You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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