I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
