omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
