Sry I called you an 8
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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