i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
