Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
