he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
