I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
