I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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