we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
