Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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