wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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