Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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