Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
