The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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