My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
