Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize