you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
