they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize