Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize