I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
