Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
