isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
