I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
