How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
