So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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