the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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